ko

Job 33:6 I am just like you before God; I too have been taken from clay.jm

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Theme Song

Hello readers! I'm so glad to have you visit my blog ! I must say, this is my first so if any of you have any kind of feedback or constructive criticism, I'd love to hear it. :)
 I like how we can insert videos, links and images, but I really wish we could embed background music ! I prefer to write while I listen to music, it seems to stimulate my thought process, enabling me to write more candidly and with different perspectives.
 I am currently taking a communications class: Public Speaking. We have had the privilege of speaking on topics that interest us for the last two speeches our class has done. For me, this freedom was accompanied by pressure." What could I talk about (for 4-6 minutes) that interests me, that won't bore my audience?" Furthermore, I wanted my classmates to take something away from my speech; for them to walk away and perhaps say, "I actually learned something."
 I was faced with the same conflict when I began this blog. When prompted to type the Title of the blog, I was going back and forth between subjects and the thoughts crept back ," What could I write about that would actually interest people." "What theme could my blog revolve around that people would want to read about." Then I wondered, " What is a universal concept that I could individualize...or put in my own words so that in a sense, it could relate to most everybody.
 Then came the idea of change. We all face it, we all go through it, but change affects each of us differently. Change comes in many shapes, amounts, forms and ways. And usually with change, we adapt and mold to our different environments and situations. I refer to these adaptations as God's way of using the ups and downs, the bitter and the sweets, our trials and triumphs to, in essence, transform...everyday if we let it.
 The Bible states in Isiah 64:8 "But now O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay;and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand." God is constantly molding and shaping my heart, and I can feel him kneading it like dough; play dough. He plies my thoughts to reflect His grace. He focuses and contours my vision to see others as He does. He smooths and evens out the rough and callous areas of myself where only He has the power to be my ocean of renewal.
 Since God created the world, and He's got the whole universe in His hands, I am testament to his ownership of a colossal sandblaster. Countless times He has shown me that He has the power to buff away scars left by painful deception and hurt. He lightens my load by grinding away at stress, worry and doubts that are often daily burdens. And he refurbishes my spirit.

So I guess my blog will be my ramblings of different sorts of things. I'm not much for planning or sticking to schedules, so it may be best to leave this Blog Theme open and ready for whatever postings can come from my head. But I would like to keep in mind the different ways that God is molding and shaping me throughout this blog through different experiences and events that take place within my life. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them ! :)


Friday, April 6, 2012

In Loving Memory

 Monday March 26th, at 2:31 pm…my Grandpa released his 5-year battle over cancer as they slowly weaned him off of the medications that appeared to be his life-support.
    Given that I wasn’t able to make it in time… I will let my imagination pilot me through his last few minutes and based upon the details from my family who was present, I envision a portrait of true love. A love that God has set apart from any other form of human emotion; a love strong enough to say goodbye.
    I see a hospital room, the typical blue and white with a hint of gray. At this moment of my imaginative conception I feel shameful and helpless, wishing and wanting to wrap him up in warmth and take him home, but wait, it’s midday. The sun is shinning and his bed is alongside the window. He is facing the clouds and begins to realize he will be home soon.
    I can see his eyes fiercely traveling the room, mindful of every single person that is beside him, that has always been beside him. I see the nurse come in every couple of minutes to check on him to see how he’s doing. All of my uncles give her full reports, remaining calm on the surface, but bleeding on the inside. I look over at Grandma, holding Grandpa’s hand, with her hands so soft and delicate, reaching over his bedside to comfort and ease his fears.
    The grand kids rally around, exposed to the numb feeling of knowing this is it. This is the end. Uncle Dave brings David Anthony to his bedside and tells him “Grandpa is going to sleep now, so give him a goodnight kiss.”
    As Grandpa’s time here on Earth slowly dwindles down, he is fully aware of all who are in the room, he says goodbye to each loved one and then says, “One more.”
    When Aunt Linda told me he kept saying “one more” I was confused.
    A typical stage of cancer adversely affects the brain and causes it to lose memory; a phase that thankfully never took much of a toll on Grandpa.
    As a clear indication that his memory was intact, and that he was entirely cognizant of every individual who was in that hospital room with him, he remembered there was just one more. One more piece of his family puzzle that was missing, my dad.
    Grandpa knew this was the end of his journey. Although he desired to pass away at his home, the magnitude of love and empathy that room was flooded with may as well be the most paramount and special departure.
    I love you Grandpa. I’ll be seeing you.




WOW!

So about a month ago, Jeremy executed the greatest, most commendable surprise of a lifetime. To some, it may seem futile and novice, but for me (which is all that actually matters), swept me off my feet. Here’s how it went down…
I worked a little later than anticipated at my second job and was walking out to my truck. Parallel to all nights, I make a speedy escape from work and head straight for the truck. I hold it as a strategic objective not to look back, and to never make eye contact with any off my associates. They could be ploys to reel me back into the pits of a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. 
So I was making the typical dash to my truck and as I eagerly placed my keys into the door, I saw a bouquet o flowers in my passenger seat. On impulse, I thought this was one of ex-boyfriends typical methods to pry back into my thought process and coil me back into his superficial lie of "I miss you".
I opened my door and saw there was a card tucked slightly under this lovely bouquet of lilies. I wanted to chuck the flowers out on the pavement and rip the card up in shreds, but decided to bite the bullet and open it, kind of knowing that what I’m about to read will ruin my night and make me want to drink lots of beer when I get home.
 I skimmed down to the bottom of the card and to my utmost delight, it was signed by Jeremy Lee. My heart skipped a beat and as I read, he instructed me to look in the back of my truck if I haven’t already, in order to glimpse into what was to come in the next month.
I hopped out of my truck and looked in the back and I saw SAND!! The entire bed of my truck was submerged in white sand, just like the beach. Atop were shells of all sorts and all colors and instantly I screamed! The last thought on my mind were of the people looking at me like I was some nuts, psycho lady as I was throwing off my shoes and jumping into the mound of sand piled in the back of my truck!
I cried and screamed and ran little circles barefoot playing in the sand and I had this creeping thought come over me. “Is he here??!!”
I jumped down and started feeling real stupid for the show that I just put on of a reckless mad-woman who just decided to leap into a random person’s pickup truck and play in sand while the guy who put on this surprise is now running far away.
I prayed that wasn’t the case and I was looking behind bushes and calling his name…and fortunately he wasn’t there. So that was the outline of the epic surprise that I will forever remember. Now on to how my feelings have flourished substantially through the corridor of my heart that I have kept in hiding caused by years of conquest.
Not only does this incredible man think the world of me, but also knowing the measures he took for this to be pulled off, takes my breath away. He was thoughtful enough to take into consideration my love for the beach; he bore in mind the enormity of a black and mild and Ale8 combined with the ocean, and he made our friends (April+ Tommy) contribute. HAHA. They are the best.
This hot, amazing, sweet, caring, HOT guy commenced plans to steal me away to the beach !
I'm writing this having already been swept off my feet by him taking me to Fort Walton Beach in Florida so I will attach pictures of our trip...but felt it necessary to inform you all of the magnificent even that led up to our trip :)




Hands and Feet


 


Another plank has been adjoined, and fastened to my sailboat of a dream. My dream that develops and fabricates itself as each encouraging thought and inspiration comes to mind.
I bought the book “Hands and Feet” that was written by Audio Adrenaline a few days ago and I can hardly put it down.


 It’s about a project/orphanage that is based in Haiti and with every turning page; my riveting heart beats faster and with more ardor and passion for taking that next step in my mind to what I’m being called to do.

Now that I think about it…every time I’ve read a book I take action. With whatever my heart was compelled to do, I sought after it. What my feet were determined to unearth, I trekked it. What my mind was thriving to delve into, I embraced it. What my eyes were guessing to see became the daylight of my desires.

One of my first Danielle Steele novels that I picked up was entitled “Wanderlust”.  Halfway through the book, I finished working on my truck that was indisposed for almost a month, got up, and left for Pensacola Beach. I read the remainder of the book bathing in the Florida sun, drinking my only packed beverage (Ale8), and spent my nights in the back of the truck, sleeping on pillows and sheets.
A few books following, was the “Volunteer Vacations”, and several months later, I was across the world in India. INDIA!!

Nowadays, my reading material is essentially books for school and things of that nature, but I am sure to find time to read my devotionals and the Bible, and I can only imagine what direction God will arouse within me while reading His word. If I can get guidance, inspiration and ideas from reading these other revenues, then surely God will create an incredibly influential and dynamic assemble for what He is has in store for me.